i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
a search helicopter?!
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
