Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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