I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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