I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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