you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
