I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
