apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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