Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
