You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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