He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
The struggles of a small town man whore
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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