Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He shit in the fireplace
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
