I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
