1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
