Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I think I am morally bankrupt
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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