why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
