8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
