whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
