Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
