This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize