My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
