I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
