it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Randomize