I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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