We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
