I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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