I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
