MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
