I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
