it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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