You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Randomize
