This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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