sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
