I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
