I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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