i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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