Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
