Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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