Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
