Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
17 year olds will be the death of me.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
