Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
