Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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