dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
