Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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