i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
