Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
