I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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