I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
