we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
