marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
