He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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