I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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