K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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