Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
