Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
