There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
