Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
