Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
