I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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