The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
