And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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