Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
What a dumb baby whore.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
