do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Are my feet made of real feet?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
