I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
