you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
