The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
