Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
