that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Randomize
